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Non-NEC Console Related Discussion => Chit-Chat => Topic started by: nat on July 05, 2007, 06:19:22 AM

Title: Hilarious SPAM
Post by: nat on July 05, 2007, 06:19:22 AM

OK, so the e-mail filters I have here at work are absolutely horrible so lots and lots of spam gets through.

Usually this results in a "Block Sender" command issued. However, before the message disappears sometimes I read a bit of what the message was about. On a rare occasion, some of this stuff is just really really funny. I usually always keep these nuggets around to go back and laugh at later.

Now, through this thread, I will be sharing some of that stuff with you. Here's todays winner:

  Hello my friend!

  I am ready to kill myself and eat my dog, if medicine prices here (<URL deleted>) are bad.

  Look, the site and call me 1-800 if its wrong..

  My dog and I are still alive ;)

Title: Re: Hilarious SPAM
Post by: Necromancer on July 05, 2007, 06:29:35 AM

He might want to try eating the dog first - it's almost impossible to do after harakiri time.  :lol:

So, this is supposed to get you to buy prescription drugs from them?  It doesn't inspire too much confidence, as they obviously have this unbalanced weirdo on the wrong shit.

Title: Re: Hilarious SPAM
Post by: Keranu on July 05, 2007, 07:56:27 AM

I'm a person who actually keeps some of his spam because some of it is just so damn funny. I'll have to post some examples later, it's usually the Chinese ones that are the best :D .

Title: Re: Hilarious SPAM
Post by: Dark Fact on July 05, 2007, 10:18:18 AM

So who hasn't received offers for penis and breast enlargements yet? :roll:

Title: Re: Hilarious SPAM
Post by: Turbo D on July 05, 2007, 03:02:23 PM

I used to get every spam that existed when I had aol mail a few years ago. Now that I got a free yahoo, the spam is on a minimum.

Title: Re: Hilarious SPAM
Post by: TR0N on July 05, 2007, 03:06:25 PM

I hate spam   :-s

Title: Re: Hilarious SPAM
Post by: Kitsunexus on July 05, 2007, 03:22:59 PM

Spam? What is this spam, and how can I get it? ;)

Title: Re: Hilarious SPAM
Post by: Turbo D on July 05, 2007, 03:41:57 PM

You can buy it at the market, makes a great breakfast meat  :wink:

Title: Re: Hilarious SPAM
Post by: TR0N on July 05, 2007, 04:08:41 PM

Spam bacon and eggs spam.

Spam sasuage bacon and eggs spam.

SPAM ! SPAM! SPAM!

Title: Re: Hilarious SPAM
Post by: termis on July 05, 2007, 05:30:35 PM

Spam musubi is fantastic.  :D

Title: Re: Hilarious SPAM
Post by: Turbo D on July 05, 2007, 06:03:43 PM

I love spam musubi, I ate 2 yesterday from L&L HB.

Title: Re: Hilarious SPAM
Post by: nat on July 05, 2007, 06:38:15 PM

I'm speechless at how quickly my new thread was hijacked.  :o

Title: Re: Hilarious SPAM
Post by: Necromancer on July 06, 2007, 03:01:16 AM

Quote from: nat on July 05, 2007, 06:38:15 PM

I'm speechless at how quickly my new thread was hijacked.  :o

Thank the gods that your typing finger is still working.  :)

Title: Re: Hilarious SPAM
Post by: nat on July 12, 2007, 08:40:42 AM

Today's nugget:

Be a Man with a capital letter.

<URL deleted>

With Penis Enlarge Patch women will always fix their attention on your penis.

Title: Re: Hilarious SPAM
Post by: TR0N on July 12, 2007, 03:38:56 PM

Quote from: nat on July 12, 2007, 08:40:42 AM

Today's nugget:

Be a Man with a capital letter.

<URL deleted>

With Penis Enlarge Patch women will always fix their attention on your penis.

:lol: :lol: The engrish in those spam e-mails are some thing.

Title: Re: Hilarious SPAM
Post by: nat on July 17, 2007, 05:05:21 AM

Quote from: <TRON> on July 12, 2007, 03:38:56 PM

 :lol: :lol: The engrish in those spam e-mails are some thing.

You're telling me.

Here's a snippet from one of today's spam. The subject was "When will it be okay?":

Yes, Roshni, I did. That man whip has truly gone off the deep end. beat
sparkling We withheld talked about Bush being delusional Id also like beat
to suggest a wriggle return of gym classes, but apple maybe in a new format.
paint My gym classes were a In silly asking this question, Mr. Irwine pushed
his plate away, forsook threw himself back bed in out his chair, and look
call coil It was brain nice meeting owe you, Emma said. The fact that dry
it was swiftly churning day was another reason fire sagittal why it was
inconvenient to have the whittaws

"That man whip has truly gone off the deep end."  :clap:

Title: Re: Hilarious SPAM
Post by: nat on July 17, 2007, 08:43:41 AM

Oh Annie oh my Jesus Annie killed that stupid broad - He rolled back and peeked through the window. I may go with you - probably will, in fact - but I am going to go with a by-God bellyful of caviar.

Title: Re: Hilarious SPAM
Post by: Necromancer on July 17, 2007, 09:13:11 AM

Quote from: nat on July 17, 2007, 08:43:41 AM

Oh Annie oh my Jesus Annie killed that stupid broad - He rolled back and peeked through the window. I may go with you - probably will, in fact - but I am going to go with a by-God bellyful of caviar.

Spam quoting Stephen King.  Just when I thought I've seen everything.....  :lol:

Title: Re: Hilarious SPAM
Post by: nat on August 30, 2007, 06:56:36 AM

SUBJECT: how did you get that on film, man?


this is not good. If this video gets to her husband your both dead. here is where I found it...<URL removed>

Title: Re: Hilarious SPAM
Post by: Keranu on August 31, 2007, 09:25:57 AM

Haha, that's great. I really need to start posting all of my spam mail here since I keep them.

Title: Re: Hilarious SPAM
Post by: nat on August 31, 2007, 11:22:37 AM

Please do. I've been getting a lot of uninteresting crap lately.

Every once in a while a humorous nugget slips through.

Title: Re: Hilarious SPAM
Post by: Keranu on August 31, 2007, 07:02:29 PM

"From:   "Crosby" <fwk@culverco.com>
From:   "Crosby" <fwk@culverco.com>
Subject:   relapse

ERMX Gets into Nitride Devices! Applications Are Amazing!

EntreMetrix Inc. (ERMX)
$0.16

Nitride Wafers are the next level in super technology. From Super
 Energy
Conductors to Nano-Lasers used in microscopic surgery. ERMX is moved
into a joint venture to manufacture Nitride devices out of China. This
is huge get on ERMX Monday!

I dropped the facade of them leading and I led.

A recent survey has poured salt on a festering wound that the Realty
Industry seems unwilling to heal.

It has nothing to do with the letters themselves, but everything to do
with how they use  what they learn from those designation courses.

Leading often makes people uncomfortable. I am a Pennsylvania-licensed
real estate instructor, a course author, and the marketing director of
the state's largest school for real estate professionals.
They may not even care to stop the bad clicks.
But for the most part at best, the net is a lead generator. Afterall,
all they did was sign up for your free report, IDX, or Free CMA form.
So lets see how they are helping. If Google starts to lose ad revenue,
then they will start to care about reducing the amount of click fraud.
So I hear all the time how a forced opt-in to IDX or VOW is antithical
to the anti transparency of the the web.

So often though we put up a brochure website and call it marketing.

Maybe my own licensing test should have been a clue. Real Estate
Marketing Blog : Is Your Professionalism Killing Sales?"

Title: Re: Hilarious SPAM
Post by: Keranu on August 31, 2007, 07:06:47 PM

"From:   "Rosalia" <jbao@gwi.net>
Subject:   To create a vaccine that could rally the immune system of mice, the NYU researchers designed a vaccine in which scrapie prions were attached to a genetically modified strain of Salmonella.
Date:   Wed, 20 Jun 2007 20:22:04 +0200

In the long run, Mark said this can reduce US slaughter capacity and increase costs for cattle feeders. Poetry In Slow Motion - Behind-the-scenes documentary on Midway bringing the style of John Woo to video games.
border packers and financially weakened border feedyards.
Seven months later, a BSE case was discovered in Washington state, which led to a loss of most US beef export markets.
The prion vaccine developed at NYU would most likely first be used to protect livestock, since most prion infections occur in animals and are thought to be transmitted orally, explains Dr. R-CALF railed in its suit against the USDA about the environmental impact of those semi-trucks hauling cattle in from Canada. has been doing just fine without exports, so Japan's concern with the U.
That is the reason for the careful methodical evaluation of science and process that has gone on.
" Currently, an outbreak of chronic wasting disease is occurring in some Western states, and the disease's geographic range is expanding. Transat to resume non-stop flights to Paris Home :: Web Directory :: France Hotels News :: Free RSS news :: Free Newsletter :: Tell a Friend Clientfinder. com Nome Search Powered by :: Free RSS news Add RSS news to your web site France Hotel news vertical portal can now be syndicated quickly and easily using our new Really Simple Syndication feeds.
The version of prion disease that affects humans usually occurs spontaneously, and only rarely as a result of eating contaminated meat."

Title: Re: Hilarious SPAM
Post by: Keranu on August 31, 2007, 07:10:18 PM

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virtual time must exist for music to function rhetorically (Sellnow).
 However it can sometimes work out otherwise. In fact, it
“If you know your history/ Then you would know where you coming from/
 Then you wouldn't have to ask me/ Who the 'eck do I think
“Let's get together and feel all right/ I'm pleadin' to mankind! One
 love/ Oh, Lord! One Heart/ Give thanks and praise to the Lord

 on the way/ Make it much easier/ Jah love, Jah love, protect us”
 Positive Vibrations. The greatest thing of Bob Marley’s music and
 ability to persuade was the fact he never used it to stir false beliefs. His
 words were
There are hundreds of thousands of people screaming for you on stage.
 The Prime Minister and leader of the opposition sit in the hearts of
 Europeans, Africans, and Americans. Lyrics and music work together to
 offer messages comprised of both theoretical and
recruit as many people into his particular beliefs, his standpoint on
 peace and unity was felt throughout the world. "

Title: Re: Hilarious SPAM
Post by: nat on September 03, 2007, 03:36:12 PM

 :shock:

"Nitride Wafers are the next level in super technology."

What the f*ck is a Nitride Wafer?

Title: Re: Hilarious SPAM
Post by: Keranu on September 03, 2007, 05:18:35 PM

I wish I knew, but it's a stroke of genius.

Title: Re: Hilarious SPAM
Post by: Turbo D on September 03, 2007, 09:18:04 PM

It sounds like a tasty cookie  :lol:

Title: Re: Hilarious SPAM
Post by: Keranu on September 04, 2007, 12:02:27 PM

Cookies of the future!

Title: Re: Hilarious SPAM
Post by: nat on June 25, 2008, 07:31:20 AM

I haven't updated this space in the better part of a year. I guess my spam filter has been working exceptionally well lately. However, in rare form, it let this little nugget slip through this morning:



SUBJECT: I love you. First time Ive ever been in love.

hiiiya

I havenot talked to you however we are friends with an individual in common who gave me your email because I recently got to city. They told me u'd be intrested in hooking up with a sexy slap of booty like this hahaha. Neways I will not ever login my e-mail so will not wan't to meat i can hand you my pix and guarantee im as hot as i say. hit me up up on my Y! Messenger.


so yes just send me a message to Y! Messenger: gwennbunny8

Do not write back to this emaile since i will not check it. google Yahoo messenger if you dont have it to download it


Byee

Title: Re: Hilarious SPAM
Post by: nectarsis on June 25, 2008, 07:34:00 AM

Sexy slap of booty MUAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHAHA

Title: Re: Hilarious SPAM
Post by: Necromancer on June 25, 2008, 08:17:31 AM

Quote from: nat on June 25, 2008, 07:31:20 AM

SUBJECT: I love you. First time Ive ever been in love.

hiiiya

I havenot talked to you however we are friends with an individual in common who gave me your email because I recently got to city. They told me u'd be intrested in hooking up with a sexy slap of booty like this hahaha. Neways I will not ever login my e-mail so will not wan't to meat i can hand you my pix and guarantee im as hot as i say. hit me up up on my Y! Messenger.


so yes just send me a message to Y! Messenger: gwennbunny8

Do not write back to this emaile since i will not check it. google Yahoo messenger if you dont have it to download it


Byee

Best typo ever!

Title: Re: Hilarious SPAM
Post by: Turbo D on June 25, 2008, 10:55:15 AM

Thats some funny azz shit!  :lol: Good ol' spam  :)

Title: Re: Hilarious SPAM
Post by: nat on April 07, 2010, 12:44:09 PM

Subject: The workman raised his green fedora and scratched his head.

<URL deleted>
But I did not say that I would not bind myself, Celeste. At this point, what could it hurt?
The little homo had apparently gotten the word from Too-Too. Hunted for a killing that was not yours?

Title: Re: Hilarious SPAM
Post by: guyjin on April 07, 2010, 01:06:47 PM

:lol:

Title: Re: Hilarious SPAM
Post by: esteban on April 07, 2010, 02:33:32 PM

Quote from: nat on April 07, 2010, 12:44:09 PM

Subject: The workman raised his green fedora and scratched his head.

<URL deleted>
But I did not say that I would not bind myself, Celeste. At this point, what could it hurt?
The little homo had apparently gotten the word from Too-Too. Hunted for a killing that was not yours?

You had me at "Too-Too". :)

Title: Re: Hilarious SPAM
Post by: Gogan on April 09, 2010, 05:44:57 AM

God, I gotta start readin some o this spam, I immediately delete it. I've been missing out on so much!