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Non-NEC Console Related Discussion => Chit-Chat => Topic started by: loganweaponx007 on July 25, 2007, 07:29:41 AM

Title: Getting Over her
Post by: loganweaponx007 on July 25, 2007, 07:29:41 AM
 My wife is moveing to Conn.c To be with someone she met online. We have one c hild together and she is pregnent with our second.c

 My heart is breaking and I want to know if any one can give me advice on how to get through this. I know My pain wont go away instantly butc if there is anything I can do to help speed up the healing process.
Title: Re: Getting Over her
Post by: Turbo D on July 25, 2007, 08:30:55 AM
Man, you have my condolences. This is a really tuff thing to go through. I don't really know what advice to give you, but I'm here to talk to.
Title: Re: Getting Over her
Post by: Kitsunexus on July 25, 2007, 09:11:03 AM
I'm sorry to hear that.

If you want to speed up the healing process, go down to Conneticut, buy a gun and shoot that motherf*cker. ^_^
Title: Re: Getting Over her
Post by: Necromancer on July 25, 2007, 09:15:13 AM
Oooh!  That's a real swift kick in the satchel.  You have my deepest sympathies.

My advice is to talk things over with somebody that you're close to - a friend, relative, pastor (rabbi, swami, priest, dark lord, etc.), or neighbor.  It's fine to vent here too, but nothing beats a face to face conversation.  Whenever you're looking to escape it all, turn your brain off for a few moments and play some video games.  It's far better to take out your aggressions on a digital opponent than to do (or say) something that you'll later regret.

P.S. - I'd insist on a paternity test if there is any question about the pregnancy.  Once your name is on the birth certificate, it is very difficult to get out of paying child support - even when a later paternity test proves that you are not the father.  Unfortunately, the courts are more worried about the child's welfare than they are about assessing proper responsibilities.  I guess that it's good for the child, but it's not so good for your pocketbook.
Title: Re: Getting Over her
Post by: Kitsunexus on July 25, 2007, 09:24:07 AM
Wow, Necro, that's some pretty good advice. You should change your name to Dr. Phil!  :wink:  :dance:
Title: Re: Getting Over her
Post by: Necromancer on July 25, 2007, 09:56:24 AM
Wow, Necro, that's some pretty good advice. You should change your name to Dr. Phil!  :wink:  :dance:

I'm not a doctor, but I do play a gynecologist on weekends.  :wink:
Title: Re: Getting Over her
Post by: Turbo D on July 25, 2007, 10:27:48 AM
Wow, Necro, that's some pretty good advice. You should change your name to Dr. Phil!  :wink:  :dance:

I'm not a doctor, but I do play a gynecologist on weekends.  :wink:

nice  :wink:
Title: Re: Getting Over her
Post by: GUTS on July 25, 2007, 12:31:18 PM
If she's hooking up with someone she met online then she's either super fat or a quadriplegic, either way you win since you're rid of her and can now go hump some hot young girls.
Title: Re: Getting Over her
Post by: Joe Redifer on July 25, 2007, 12:36:28 PM
Sorry to hear of this, man.  Just remember that it is her that screwed up and not you.  It doesn't mean that you are a shitty husband or father.  Yes, it will take time to heal, but keep in mind that you WILL eventually heal and be able to function normally again.  This has happened to many guys before and you are far from alone.
Title: Re: Getting Over her
Post by: Keranu on July 25, 2007, 01:06:21 PM
If she's hooking up with someone she met online then she's either super fat or a quadriplegic, either way you win since you're rid of her and can now go hump some hot young girls.
Get a life, man. Seriously.

Sorry to hear your troubles, logan.
Title: Re: Getting Over her
Post by: esteban on July 25, 2007, 01:28:26 PM
I just want to say that GUTS was actually trying to be supportive in his post.

He's just a little rough around the edges sometimes.

Anyway, back to the matter at hand: while this is a painful, crushing time for you now, ultimately it is the best thing to happen. She's leaving for someone she met online? This alone reveals a lot about how she handles problems in life.

Good luck, and play some Timeball/Blodia: you'll feel better :). Or not.
Title: Re: Getting Over her
Post by: nodtveidt on July 25, 2007, 01:48:34 PM
Leaving you to be with an online fling, eh...I've had that happen before. It's a pain at first but after awhile, you start to realize that when the person who left you gets left by the person they left you for, it's sweet revenge and poetic justice all wrapped up into one nifty little package. And when they come crawling back on all fours (there's about an 85% chance of this happening, in my experience), you've got all the power and control. How you use it is up to you, but there's always a high chance that the person will do it again if you allow it. Sometimes people do such stupid things in a moment of weakness and learn from their mistakes and reconcile...but don't count on this whatsoever. Just be glad you made it out in one piece and still have a life of your own to live.

I do like the "dark lord" idea though. :lol:
Title: Re: Getting Over her
Post by: Michael Helgeson on July 25, 2007, 01:51:51 PM
There are 2 sides to every story,so I cant say who is really in the wrong,don't know you or your wife. Sorry your going through that,its rough,but for all I know you could have been beating her or have been ignoring her so much you drove her away. These days people divorce alot in their 20ies and 30ies too because they just realize they are living in a situation they don't like also. She may have just realized your not what she wanted,fell out of love,ect. There isn't much you can do about that. If she wants  a divorce however it and custody have to be decided in your area,if the paperwork is filed there. This means if you get off your ass and file first,and build a quick case you can possibly ruin or slow her plans and get custody of your kid,if you can prove your the more responsible of the two. You seriously need to halt her taking your kid into another state. If she does you may never see him/her again.
Title: Re: Getting Over her
Post by: Kitsunexus on July 25, 2007, 01:58:54 PM
I highly doubt that he was beating her. I mean, beat your wife, she leaves you, and then complain on a TG16 FORUM? LOL, that's the dumbest idea for a movie I've ever heard.

My sympathies man.  If I were you I'd take her out to a Nevada desert and arrange an "out of court settlement", but you aren't evil like me so f*ck that.


I really hope you get your kid. That always pisses me off when I hear the good parent doesnt get the kid.  :cry:
Title: Re: Getting Over her
Post by: Michael Helgeson on July 25, 2007, 02:08:51 PM
Nothing is a sure bet,and what I basically mean is I don't know him personally,or her,so I don't know the real reason behind why she is leaving him,there could be more to it then just her meeting a new guy on the net,only him and her know that and I am not going to toss judging words on here towards her just because he says shes leaving him. My only advise is to him if he cares about his kid he needs to get off his ass and file for a divorce and try to get custody. Once she is out of the state she can file and get a settlement with him not around at a later date otherwise depending on the court system where she is moving. She can even file for child support from another state and he cant fight it unless he can travel there to do so.
Title: Re: Getting Over her
Post by: Joe Redifer on July 25, 2007, 03:34:40 PM
I agree about not letting the wife take the kid(s) to another state.  Many states don't have any kind of legalities set up between the two, so child support can be a bitch and it's almost always the guy who gets the shaft in those cases emotionally and financially.  They can say that you don't visit your kids even if you don't have the means to and that will screw you over on the child support stuff.

Also, I think it is far, far too easy to get married these days.  Lots of young people seem to do it almost out of impulse.  They think they know what they are doing, but they really don't.  That's one of the reasons why the divorce rate is up. 
Title: Re: Getting Over her
Post by: 2X4 on July 25, 2007, 03:39:10 PM
Nothing stings you like bitch pain.  I've been there (not married but multiple-year GF).  While no on-line sancho was in the mix, I do think she was less than faithful.  At any rate, if you loved this person as I have to assume you did, then the feeling won't go away just because you are separated.  You have to accept that there is no escaping the pain.  You must do two things.  One, everything you do from now on you should always think about your kid.  On a side note, though I don't wish you any additional pain, Necro is absolutely right about the paternity test.  It isn't fair to anybody to live with false assumptions.  Secondly, to get through this time the best thing you can do is to keep your family and friends close to you.  Try to spend time with somebody every day, and though it sounds totally daytime tv, talk about it, seriously.

And for gods sake, don't come to video game forums for advice of this nature!
Title: Re: Getting Over her
Post by: esteban on July 25, 2007, 04:26:20 PM
IMO, the paternity test is not an issue: you're gonna continue loving and caring about your child, regardless.

As Michael and others have already stated, establishing custody / visitation rights is of paramount importance right now. This is, IMO, the most difficult thing the original poster must work through.
Title: Re: Getting Over her
Post by: 2X4 on July 25, 2007, 04:35:47 PM
IMO, the paternity test is not an issue: you're gonna continue loving and caring about your child, regardless.

As Michael and others have already stated, establishing custody / visitation rights is of paramount importance right now. This is, IMO, the most difficult thing the original poster must work through.

Well, ya tard, paternity is of paramount importance in establishing if any of that other shit is relevant, you see.
Title: Re: Getting Over her
Post by: esteban on July 25, 2007, 04:52:15 PM
IMO, the paternity test is not an issue: you're gonna continue loving and caring about your child, regardless.

As Michael and others have already stated, establishing custody / visitation rights is of paramount importance right now. This is, IMO, the most difficult thing the original poster must work through.

Well, ya tard, paternity is of paramount importance in establishing if any of that other shit is relevant, you see.
??? You missed the point: the paternity test (child #2) doesn't change the relationship you have with child #1.  Regardless of the outcome of the paternity test, establishing custody / visitation rights is of paramount importance in the current situation. 
Title: Re: Getting Over her
Post by: 2X4 on July 26, 2007, 11:02:18 AM
You are referring to child #1, I was referring to child #2.  So I think both of those issues are important.