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Non-NEC Console Related Discussion => Chit-Chat => Topic started by: Kitsunexus on November 22, 2007, 04:26:54 PM

Title: I LOL'd heartedly...
Post by: Kitsunexus on November 22, 2007, 04:26:54 PM
Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

 :lol:


got moar joeks? 0_^
Title: Re: I LOL'd heartedly...
Post by: Hobo Xiphas on November 22, 2007, 04:35:21 PM
What do you call a fox with a runny nose?

Full.
Title: Re: I LOL'd heartedly...
Post by: Turbo D on November 22, 2007, 06:17:52 PM
ain't it a shame to beat your wife on a sunday when you got monday tuesday wednesday, or thursday friday and saturday ain't it a shame
Title: Re: I LOL'd heartedly...
Post by: Necromancer on November 23, 2007, 02:43:29 AM
What do you call a truckload of dildos at Christmas?  Toys for twats.

One of my favs:  What do you say to a women with two black eyes?  Nothing - she's already been told twice.
Title: Re: I LOL'd heartedly...
Post by: ceti alpha on November 23, 2007, 02:56:03 AM
Quote
What do you say to a women with two black eyes?  Nothing - she's already been told twice.

HAHA!! Yeah, I can't help but laugh whenever I hear that one.
Title: Re: I LOL'd heartedly...
Post by: Necromancer on November 23, 2007, 03:04:06 AM
What do you call a fox with a runny nose?

Full.

Mwuhahahaha!  It took me a while, but I get it now.
Title: Re: I LOL'd heartedly...
Post by: Keranu on November 23, 2007, 10:12:56 AM
Quote
What do you say to a women with two black eyes?  Nothing - she's already been told twice.

HAHA!! Yeah, I can't help but laugh whenever I hear that one.
Hahaha, yeah that's one of my favorites too!
Title: Re: I LOL'd heartedly...
Post by: Tatsujin on November 23, 2007, 05:52:03 PM
P1:"do you know the joke about doesn't matter?"
P2:"no"
P1:"doesn't matter!"
Title: Re: I LOL'd heartedly...
Post by: termis on November 23, 2007, 06:23:24 PM
Ah, some classic ones that are always a hit with the ladies--

Q: How do you know when a woman comes?
A: Who f*cking cares?
.
.
.
A girl once told me to give her all 12 inches and make her bleed.  So I stuck it in her 4 times and punched her in the face.
Title: Re: I LOL'd heartedly...
Post by: Kitsunexus on November 23, 2007, 06:48:03 PM
P1:"do you know the joke about doesn't matter?"
P2:"no"
P1:"doesn't matter!"

Awww, that's so tame and cute! GTFO MUH THREAD.  :x


Ah, some classic ones that are always a hit with the ladies--

Q: How do you know when a woman comes?
A: Who f*cking cares?
.
.
.
A girl once told me to give her all 12 inches and make her bleed.  So I stuck it in her 4 times and punched her in the face.

FOR THE WIN, MY GOOD SIR, FOR THE WIN!! ^___^
Title: Re: I LOL'd heartedly...
Post by: ccovell on November 24, 2007, 03:03:11 AM
What's worse than ten dead babies in a trash can?

.

.

.


One dead baby in ten trash cans.
Title: Re: I LOL'd heartedly...
Post by: guyjin on November 24, 2007, 03:10:17 AM
gah, dead baby jokes... another artifact of the '90s...
Title: Re: I LOL'd heartedly...
Post by: ccovell on November 24, 2007, 09:35:33 AM
I'll have you know, sir, that I stole that joke from a book published in the 80s.
Title: Re: I LOL'd heartedly...
Post by: Joe Redifer on November 24, 2007, 11:53:19 AM
Yeah I have a similar 80's book around here somewhere.  It's called something like "Truly Tasteless Jokes".  It's great!
Title: Re: I LOL'd heartedly...
Post by: Kitsunexus on November 24, 2007, 01:57:18 PM
gah, dead baby jokes... another artifact of the '90s...

LIES. Dead baby jokes are TIMELESS!
Title: Re: I LOL'd heartedly...
Post by: guyjin on November 25, 2007, 09:13:00 AM
I'll have you know, sir, that I stole that joke from a book published in the 80s.

Well, that sort of joke became vogue in the 90s in my school, so I guess we're just behind the times.
Title: Re: I LOL'd heartedly...
Post by: nat on November 26, 2007, 05:46:03 AM
I'll have you know, sir, that I stole that joke from a book published in the 80s.

Well, that sort of joke became vogue in the 90s in my school, so I guess we're just behind the times.

Nah, I'm with you on that.
Title: Re: I LOL'd heartedly...
Post by: Sinistron on November 28, 2007, 06:46:03 AM
Why is a nagging wife like a Texas Breakfast?

Because she's Eggs Austin.


lol I actually made that one myself.  no applause, please.  I'm shy.
Title: Re: I LOL'd heartedly...
Post by: Turbo D on November 28, 2007, 07:39:27 AM
 :clap:
Title: Re: I LOL'd heartedly...
Post by: Sinistron on November 29, 2007, 01:01:23 AM
 :oops:
Title: Re: I LOL'd heartedly...
Post by: ceti alpha on December 04, 2007, 01:21:26 AM
Quote
Why is a nagging wife like a Texas Breakfast?

Because she's Eggs Austin.


lol I actually made that one myself.  no applause, please.  I'm shy.

ha! That's actually quite clever.  :clap:
Title: Re: I LOL'd heartedly...
Post by: Sinistron on December 04, 2007, 04:49:16 AM
Thanks.  I'm adding that one into a screenplay I'm working on. 
Title: Re: I LOL'd heartedly...
Post by: Necromancer on December 04, 2007, 05:08:47 AM
Another oldie but goodie:

A koala bear was strolling down the street when approached by a prostitute.  He had never been with one before and was curious, so off they went to a seedy, hourly motel.  He went down on her one last time before departing, and as he was leaving the prostitute yelled, "Hey! What about my money?"  The koala turned, gave her a puzzled look, and shrugged his shoulders.  She pulled out a dictionary and pointed to the word "prostitute" and its definition: "has sex and gets paid".  Finally understanding, the koala grabbed her dictionary, turned to the word "koala", and showed her: "eats bush and leaves".
Title: Re: I LOL'd heartedly...
Post by: Tatsujin on December 04, 2007, 04:11:58 PM
you want problem?.. you get problem!
Title: Re: I LOL'd heartedly...
Post by: Necromancer on December 05, 2007, 01:23:56 AM
Three women are sitting in a bar talking about their love lives.

The first one says, "My husband is an architect.  When we make love it has power, it has form, it has function.  It's incredible!"

The second one says, "My husband is an artist.  When we make love it has passion, it has emotion, it has vision.  It's wonderful!"

The third woman sighs and sips her margarita, then says, "My husband works for Microsoft.  When we make love, he just sits at the end of the bed and tells me how great it's going to be when it gets here."
Title: Re: I LOL'd heartedly...
Post by: ceti alpha on December 05, 2007, 04:43:23 AM
Quote
The third woman sighs and sips her margarita, then says, "My husband works for Microsoft.  When we make love, he just sits at the end of the bed and tells me how great it's going to be when it gets here."

LMAO!! That's awesome!  :lol:
Title: Re: I LOL'd heartedly...
Post by: Kitsunexus on December 05, 2007, 06:24:54 AM
Three women are sitting in a bar talking about their love lives.

The first one says, "My husband is an architect.  When we make love it has power, it has form, it has function.  It's incredible!"

The second one says, "My husband is an artist.  When we make love it has passion, it has emotion, it has vision.  It's wonderful!"

The third woman sighs and sips her margarita, then says, "My husband works for Microsoft.  When we make love, he just sits at the end of the bed and tells me how great it's going to be when it gets here."

ROTFLMAO! FTW!!
Title: Re: I LOL'd heartedly...
Post by: Turbo D on December 05, 2007, 10:01:31 AM
lol, iT would have been better if he locked up in the middle of it or something. Or maybe if he had the three lights of death, rofl