Dariusburst came in Saturday's mail. Thanks to UPS Garbage Innovations, the trading card and sticker were all bent up (good thing I waited for 'em!) but the game itself is fine.
And thanks to Gypsy, my complaints have been summarily dismissed. I'm just a troll, and everything negative is beyond LRG's control.
1. It's not their fault that they're selling Jotun now but won't ship for a month or more, so it's unfair/inaccurate to label it as a pre-order.*
2. It's not their fault that they changed to shittier and slower postal services to save a few bucks yet still charge the same amount for shipping.
3. It's not their fault they sold games knowing full well that they'd not ship any time soon but failed to mention it in the games' listings.
4. It's not their fault that they sent out misleading emails saying the games shipped when they actually hadn't.
5. It's not their fault that they couldn't be bothered to send out emails or post an official explanation on their website or forum regarding the delay.
Just shut up and send them money.

* - Since when is pre-order a bad word? If you don't want to pay and wait, don't buy; I'd not have complained about Darius had they been similarly up front about the situation.